|
|
Monday, January 31st, 2005
| |
8:23 pm
|
Gosh, gang, I sure have been gone for a long time. I hope you're not pissed* at me. Fact is, my computer broke when I put it on Hadji's hot plate. Or something. I wasn't really paying attention, because I've dicovered the Segue! What a neat machine! You don't have to walk around anymore or nothing!
Dad's pissed* at me because he has this hoverbike that he made for me and bla bla bla, I wasn't really paying attention. I put racing stripes on mine, and a horn that I can honk! And then a bell I can ring when I'm tired of honking.
I tried to get Race to take me to the mainland so I could buy some tassles for the handlebars, but he got this funny look on his face and signed me up for Boy Scouts.
I can't wait to make boondoggles!!!!
* = Please don't tell dad I know the word "pissed."
|
|
(11 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, December 6th, 2003
| |
9:35 am
|
I hope you're buying me a rocketbike for christmas.
I have rockets, and a bike? But not a rocketbike. And I think my life is the less for it.
|
|
(6 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, August 25th, 2003
| |
1:54 pm
|
|
Dad's dating again. He's had girlfriends before? But I think he's really serious about this one. She's talking about moving in, even, and I went, "Dad, we don't have a spare room!" and then he sat me down and had this really, really, really boring talk. I wasn't really paying attention, I was thinking about robots. Man, robots!!!! And he said, "Do you understand, son?" and I just kinda blurted out "Rocket launchers!!!" and then he gave me a funny look but then we had ice cream, awesome!!!
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
| Friday, August 8th, 2003
| |
2:58 am
|
I went to Wal-Mart to buy a Harry Potter Quidditch Lego set, and I was stuck in line behind a Lizardman.
You don't know awkward until you are forced to stand around with a former foe.
Also he was buying adult diapers.
What's the etiquette for situations like that?
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, June 16th, 2003
| |
12:46 pm
|
So.... how you doin'?
current mood: desirable
current music: Disco Is Fun mix tape - Ring My Bell
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 29th, 2003
| |
10:32 pm
|
I have decided to have a bake sale to raise money. Just in case I ever need money. Not that I do. Like, what would I be saving for, this?
Hahahahahaha.
So, who wants what? I'm taking orders.
|
|
(10 comments | comment on this)
|
| Thursday, May 15th, 2003
| |
12:07 am
|
So today I woke up, and I said to myself, "Jonny! You are not full of pie! This is wrong!" So I made a pie. It was awesome, and full of, like, apples. But robots broke in, and totally stole my pie.
What I'm saying is, god dammit, Zin, you rat fink, make your own god damn pies.
current mood:  hungry
|
|
(11 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, May 5th, 2003
| |
12:55 pm
|
|
| Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003
| |
10:56 pm
|
So what's new in the life of Jonny, you may well ask?
I beat my last high score at solitaire!
Life is very fulfilling.
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, April 9th, 2003
| |
12:23 pm
|
So Hadj is moving out, and we've got this spare room. I'm thinking.... VACATION WITH THE QUESTS!!! Yes, for a nominal fee, you can live the wild Quest life! Breakfast with Benton! Run with Race! Jive with Jonny! Bark with Bandit! All this and more!
Also, save the world, and stuff!!!!!
Eh? Eh?
|
|
(2 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, April 1st, 2003
| |
1:38 pm
|
|
| Sunday, March 30th, 2003
| |
9:21 pm
|
Ummm, hi Race and Hadj.
Shit, now I have to watch my language and crap. At least Dad, Jade and Zin aren't on my case yet.
Also I'm grounded, which is uncool. Ah well, more time to catch up on my knitting.
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Wednesday, March 26th, 2003
| |
5:32 am - Ow
|
|
| |
1:47 am
|
Another postcard from Hadj:
"Race got us thrown out of the country. I cannot say I am suprised. This brings the grand total of countries he is banned from to 37, excluding Greece, which he was not banned from as much as unceremoniously-locked-in-a-crate-and-mailed-home-from. Maybe Zin was right that time he suggested we get him neutered, or spayed, or whatever it is you do to overzealous John Wayne types.
"Will be home early Wednesday. Hope you haven't redecorated my room! Ha ha. Regards, Hadji
"P.S. If you have redecorated my room I will gut you with a dirty soup spoon and hollow out your skull for use as a small but decorative mint dish."
Good thing he doesn't mention renting out his room. Phew! I dodged that bullet.
Also I've let his spare turbans stew in the bottom of the trash can for the last few weeks. Let's see if he notices!
|
|
(7 comments | comment on this)
|
| Sunday, March 23rd, 2003
| |
2:19 am
|
Got a postcard from Hadj:
"France is a fascinating country! I promise to bring you a rakish hat for you to wear at an amusing angle.
"Today we met a woman who was tall, taller even than Race! He felt affronted and spent the whole day sulking. I found the whole experience deeply fulfilling. Cheers, Hadji."
And one from Race:
"Tall chicks suck. --Race."
Also, since some of you are curious about my age: I'm either 13 of 39. I'm not sure, it's all rather confusing, what with the clones and the wannabes, etc. I'm sure dad could figure it out, but he's spent the last 36 hours swearing at a Rubik's cube and isn't fit for much beyond crying about the one block of blue on the yellow side.
While we're at it, anyone have any other questions they'd like for me to answer? Let it never be said that I hide anything. Except that one crazy week in the potato mines of Idaho, but that's an issue of national security.
|
|
(comment on this)
|
| Thursday, March 20th, 2003
| |
11:02 am
|
The moon nazis were actually way agreeable, when all was said and done. Apparently they were going through withdrawal from Tim Horton's donuts. So moon nazis are canadian. Good to know.
Anyway, I came back to find this on my answering machine:
"Jonny! It is Hadji. I am afraid that Race and I sold your car for the admission price to a girl's finishing school in France. Race keeps telling me that he has seen a number of movies on the subject and that these 'hot tamales' do not know what is coming. This whole scheme makes me very uncomfortable, but he promises there will be tequila shots. We'll be back in a few months."
I swear to God, next time I'm gone I'm just going to lock them all in the basement.
|
|
(5 comments | comment on this)
|
| Tuesday, March 4th, 2003
| |
11:12 pm
|
|
| Sunday, February 16th, 2003
| |
12:59 am
|
Hadji won't be posting for awhile, as I locked him in the god damned closet, and unless M. Night Shyamalan told me wrong, he (Hadji, not Shyamalan) will never ever be able to escape. TRY AND POST FROM THERE, HADJI, HUH? Ha ha ha, triumph!
Anyway, Hadji knows not of that which he speaks. Don't tell anyone, but the reason why I haven't posted in awhile is because........ Well, I'm sure you've all seen this 100% realistic photograph in the papers:
You'll be stunned to learn that... I am that masked man.
Yes.
I am American Ninja Boy.
You may well wonder what would drive such a strapping young lad as myself to such extremes, especially after years of government service. When someone dyed Bandit pink, I went to the police---but they didn't help, no! Instead they pointed at laughed at our horrible, horrible plight. It was in that moment---standing in the lobby, clutching my poor, violated pooch---that it struck me. The common man needs someone to defend them from the dog-dying fiends of the world. And that someone---is American Ninja Boy.
So, my friends, when the world has turned its big, hairy back on you... Turn to American Ninja Boy. He will kick the ass of evil with the steel-toed boot of justice, and perhaps take the names of the unrighteous.
Just cry out, "AmNiBo, save me!" and I'll be there before you can say "mild-mannered this, evil doer."
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
| Saturday, February 15th, 2003
| |
5:33 pm
|
It is me again, Hadji. Jonny is grounded for setting an embassy on fire. We're not even sure which embassy. America does not need your help in pissing people off, Jonny.
Anyway, where are my manners? If I know anything of online auction customs, it is that I must describe the object in question and include fuzzy, poorly-compressed photographs. So let me try this again.
****LOOK**** JONNY QUEST VINTAGE REAL LIVE BOY!!!!!
VINTAGE 1964 BOY HERO You are bidding on Jonny Quest four-foot tall boy in good condition with his original clothes, underwear, and hair. His cranium shows some wear with some fading but otherwise is in good condition with no rips or tears. His turtleneck is very fashionable--HAND KNIT!!! He has blue eyes and short blond hair. He comes with a plastic stand. He is between eleven and forty years old. Likes adventure, babes, crying spontaneously. Space-bound buyer a plus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Free shipping to the continental US, as he has a special deal with Greyhound!
The bidding is now at $275.99! Please act quickly! Everything Jonny must go! I must be crazy! Please buy him for exorbitant sums. I have a substantial gambling debt to pay.
Respectfully Yours,
~ Hadji
|
|
(3 comments | comment on this)
|
| Monday, February 10th, 2003
| |
11:10 pm
|
Jonny has been busy all week with a paper for Race detailing the personage of James K. Polk, specifically how he (Race) is far more ruggedly handsome than the other (Polk), so I, Hadji, am once again in control.
Since I spent the last post informing you of Jonny's filthy untruths---here are some things you might not know about me.
- I am involved with a civil war re-enactment group.
- I have personally saved the world no less than seventeen times, twice in full confederate uniform.
- I once got noogied by Nelson Mandela.
- My turban is rigged for cable so I don't miss The Daily Show.
- I spent the fall playing Simba in The Lion King stage show, and won a Tony for my portrayal of Stanley Kowalski in a musical version of A Streetcar Named Desire.
- I have been tapped to play Ethnic Background Person #3 in the next Harry Potter film. I plan to fund my college education from honorariums at subsequent convention appearances. It seems like Bandit has gotten into more amusing situations involving dangerous objects. I must either swoop in and save him, or record the ensuing bloodshed and sell the tape to Fox. Peace, my friends.
~ Hadji
P.S. The bidding for Jonny begins at $50. Do I hear $50?
|
|
(4 comments | comment on this)
|
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mrjonnyquest's journal
